rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
Note: Many of the linked posts are comm-locked. I apologise and I'm working on this, but it's slow going. Sorry.

Read more... )
rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
This is another index page for the Runaway Tales community on LJ.

For the Manifestations index and some more explanation of what's going on, go here.

Read more... )
rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
I thought this should have something a bit more positive as the last (for now, anyway, I don't want to talk in absolutes) post. I really don't want to vanish completely. I didn't even want to vanish at all. It upsets me too, because I feel like there are a lot of people I'd like to read this, but they won't, because they're all elsewhere. I don't know how to find them. It's making me want to cry thinking about it.

But I can't go on about that, I want to leave some trails, even if they're not where I wish they all led.

Where I am right now with fandom (short answer: not happy, but when was I ever?) )

Where you can find me right now. )

Project statuses )

so uh...

Apr. 14th, 2017 08:26 pm
rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
yeah. I think i came back too early.

you're not bad people. I think I'm like... burnt. so i put my hands on things and they're burnt so it FUCKING HURTS. I don't think you're doing anything wrong? (although uh i you like to post jokes about men uh... think about it? would you want people saying that about women? about you? nope!)

sadly I can't afford therapy any more and honestly? I don't know what I'd SAY to one, they don't know this shit, they don't know fandom and discourse. too much of a mess. we need fandom therapists.

I'm not healthy enough to be around you yet. i'm sorry... I'm so lonely, I want to be friends, but everything HURTS too much. I thought I'd have my damn shit together, you know?
rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
Sorry about everything. I want to reach out. And I try and... waves and waves of fear and panic and male feeling sliding and guilt and the urge to recite the Problematic Prayer before the Goddess of Good Decent People, whoever she is, but you all managed it okay, I guess.. so why couldn't I?

I thought I'd have some answers by now but all that really became clear to me was the way my gender feelings follow my mood:

if I'm upset, scared, guilty, hating myself, I'm male. i guess because that's what bad people are? I'm a nasty man crying male tears for everyone to enjoy!

If I'm happy, feeling good and confident about myself, loving what I do (yes, this happens!) I'm female. strong, confident, independent... girl? Yeah, I still don't like 'woman', i prefer 'girl', i know that's bad. But happy=female anyway.

How backwards is that? I thought being a woman was meant to be worse than a war zone! But that's my happy state? Ugh, I couldn't get my trauma the right way around, now I can't even get my gender right. So damn backwards all the time.

I'm sorry.
rustydragonfly: Potassium flame in water (potassium)

Meet Kalium*. She's a "mountain dragon" (maybe some foo dog type critter in her ancestry too?) and she is mine.

I didn't mean to keep her, but I put the finishing touches on her over the weekend and realised that I couldn't bear to part with her. In hindsight, it's my fault for making her purple. I can't resist purple.

I knew this would happen one day.

*The old term for potassium and why its chemical symbol is K. The periodic table is too a fandom.
rustydragonfly: Photo of a black cat wearing a tux/bowtie collar (tuxedo cat)
I went for a walk just now. Technically because I needed to go get bread, really because I fancied a walk in the evening.

Also Tiddles is back and has been rocking the world of Storybook Weaver again.

I hear falling down holes is the hot thing these days amongst you kids. The lion is purple because there's a recolour function and because I like purple.

Did I mention this thing is way too much fun even if I have no idea where I'm going? Because it is. For the record this is the original SBW, mostly because it's available to download but also because I'm mostly sure (memory being fallible) that it's the version I played way back when. At some point I'm going to have to make an SBW page on Neocities, then I'll have double 90s or something.
rustydragonfly: Photo of a lizard behind a leaf with light shining through (lizard leaf)
Altas Obscura is fun, but it got a new layout and now it just looks dull? Like everyone else. White background. Big text and images. Clickbait headlines.

There's probably some fancy marketing and UX talk behind why, but I much prefer the old version. It had personality, with that old travelogue look.

I might be getting old, and the site is still fascinating reading, but there's some sad irony to be had when a page showcasing all the quirky things around the world looks like every other website in existence.


May. 10th, 2016 06:11 pm
rustydragonfly: Photo of a black cat wearing a tux/bowtie collar (tuxedo cat)


Also November 18th? Whyyy do you hate NaNoWriMo so much, Game Freak? Nah, I joke. But really, I must be the only person holding out for another delayed European release. I got words to do, people.
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a dinosaur drinking tea, captioned "tea rex" (tea rex)
Laundry day means lavender pyjama bottoms, a teal t-shirt, and NO REGRETS.
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a giraffe from, captioned "standard giraffe: 5 meters" (xkcd giraffe)
See below: a 100% accurate summary of my morning:

And it's only 07:20, kids!

(And hat and coat weather outside. Ew. Maybe the weather wants me to get over my hat hangups.)
rustydragonfly: Photo of a crested gecko (crestie)
Heads up, Windows 10 is installing on some 7/8 systems automatically. What MS are trying to gain from this, I have no idea. I like my 7 install as it is and so does my five year old laptop.

I think when the time comes for a new one I'm ditching Windows. Maybe keep a virtual machine. I kind of want a 3.1 box anyway, been meaning to set one up for ages. I could finally play that original Catz game I got last year...
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a giraffe from, captioned "standard giraffe: 5 meters" (xkcd giraffe)
I finally got around to listening to the Hidden Almanac because [personal profile] bookblather was posting about doing the same. I don't know how it took me so long since I've been a fan of KUEC all this time, but I'm glad I did. It was a little weird to get into at first because all I could think was "This is Kevin's voice. This is Kevin. At some point he is going to talk about beagles" but you get over that eventually.

It is delightfully weird in that way that Ursula Vernon's work always is. Each episode is really short, just a few minutes long, but that means that it's easy to catch up on the giant backlog, and also that you can sneak one in whenever you have a bit of time spare. Or several. I dare you to stop at one. I dare you.

Poke if you like weird history, weird saints, weird gardening, and used car salesman rising from the grave to threaten their business rivals in the sponsor messages. And Kevin's voice, which is the definition of relaxing.
rustydragonfly: Photo of a starfield (SPACE)
Me, getting an eye test earlier today: Ha ha, I'm thinking of the episode of Father Ted where Jack goes to the opticians. I wonder if the charts will all say DRINK?

Me, after test: *checks phone*


Me: ...Feck.
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a giraffe from, captioned "standard giraffe: 5 meters" (xkcd giraffe)
I had a 90s bomb moment - anyone know this show?

My 90s memories never seem to line up with everyone elses'. I guess because I didn't have cable at home growing up and a lot of the big shows of the time were ones I didn't get to see often because of that. Some exceptions for the Disney Saturday morning cartoons and Power Rangers*, but aside from that, my 90s was not your 90s. Confession: I don't think I've ever seen a full episode of Rugrats. I know. I suck. And some of it's geographical, 'cause I don't expect people outside the UK to remember the Crystal Maze or Knightmare**.

But I had this moment where my brain was idling and got onto cartoons and hey, what was that show with the ox and the turtle and all the other talking animals and the paraphrased quote about chrysanthemums which for ages I thought I'd hallucinated because I couldn't find and nobody ever mentioned it. Thankyou Google. Now I know! And it turns out it was actually an 80s show but shush, I remember watching it in the 90s.

And now I remember it's the reason why kid me wrote several billion crappy stories about talking animals.

anyway SAY HELLO if you remember it so I don't feel like a weirdo is what I'm saying here.

*And that era on the internet where everyone knew how to make a website, rather than considering it some strange wizardry as they do today.
**Your tragic loss.
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a giraffe from, captioned "standard giraffe: 5 meters" (xkcd giraffe)
I had this dream last night.

I was walking through all these dramatic landscapes. A forested path, a cliffside meadow, crossing a stormy canyon, all with sweeping, epic visuals. And then, a voice booms out of the sky... and the dream turns out to be an ad for the latest version of Windows with shiny graphics.

To which, in-dream, I started ranting at the ad-voice about wtf was it doing in my dream WE DO NOT GET ADS IN OUR DREAMS THIS IS NOT FUTURAMA.

I've had a few self aware/fourth wall breaking dreams before, but that one takes the entire cake shop.
rustydragonfly: Drawing of a giraffe from, captioned "standard giraffe: 5 meters" (xkcd giraffe)
I feel awful right now (physically, don't worry!) but I managed to get this collection done.

At least one 6IV (perfectly statted) male pokemon for each egg group. Took me forever to assemble. So much running around in circles in Not Paris. (And I didn't get one shiny whilst doing it, despite all those eggs. You can't have it all.)

Anyone want leftovers? I have a crapton.

(Also it seems the images not showing thing is a problem on my end. Thanks for pointing that out! I still haven't worked out why that's happening but at least I know. Hopefully you can see this image okay.)
rustydragonfly: Photo of a penguin standing in a snowy landscape (penguin)

Yep. On the colouring book bandwagon. No regrets.
rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)

Watch the tortoise! Plus, he's so cuute. You nom that strawberry, little tortoise.


rustydragonfly: Dragonfly in flight (Default)
evil northern overlord

June 2017

111213141516 17


RSS Atom

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags