this is what I get for being unable to resist snarking at newspapers

So it would seem that I've gone and done that thing again where I make up what I think are cool new characters and it turns out that thanks to fandom osmosis they're actually really similar to an existing popular thing that I've not consumed but have seen enough fan activity that it probably lodged into my brain and came out on some level, just when I thought I had a good idea that wasn't.

This is getting embarrassing, dammit.

(Seriously, someone tell me I'm not the only person this keeps happening to?)